I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
this will be a night to untag.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
