Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
