Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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