my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
