i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
