So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
