i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
