It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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