I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
