nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I just gift wrapped bread.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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