Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Less talking, more tequila
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
