Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!�
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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