The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
