Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
