Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
