ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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