is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Randomize
