can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I wish i was in the wii world.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
