Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
