So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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