we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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