i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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