Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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