Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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