We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
