His pubic hair was longer than his dick
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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