go do what you do best...puke behind churches
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
