just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
