If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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