About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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