I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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