We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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