I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
There are leaves in my underwear?
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