Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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