Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Randomize
