dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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