i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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