I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
someone owes me an orgasm
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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