sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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