I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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