Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
