Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
