Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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