Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
