He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
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