Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
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