The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
