all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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