Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
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