4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
